The Week Went Well

How’d your week go Carol?

Why, the week went well, thank you.

The week went well for the birds that fly through my garden. The rats that live in my cranberry bush and the possum on the other side of the fence. The week went well for most Americans. Many of them got paid today, some got laid this morning, most had a good hair day, but even less knew the importance of their lives.

The week went well for the stars in the sky, the air when it moved in the early morning hours, it got brisk, and you needed a sweater.

Monday should have been a day where my back pulled straight, where I got a little taller, and my teeth showed a little when I smiled.  My drums were set up as I wanted. My studio looked bitchen. My first three paintings were half way there – and I even still liked them. They are masterpieces after all.

I began to appreciate my surroundings. My life. The people I choose to share it with.

And I thought about how I arrived here

and how I will never fucken get over it.

meat11small

 

I’m 11 here.

Drums, Blah

Yeah yeah yeah….. I set my drums up in my studio. It was a pain in the ass – had to rearrange a lot of stuff blah blah blah. Energy: Gone, really sore all over, oh my achin’ reah reah reah… Too depressed to write a blog post. An honest one anyway. Meds sucking. Here’s a pic, but I made a whole page about it on my site here.

Google Rankings

So since mjp and I have redone my website, with all the secret back-end programming, I am now coming in on Google searches for Los Angeles contemporary artist on the first page, ranking at #7.

If you have a computer monitor as big as mine (22 inches!), you don’t even have to scroll down to see that!

brad

Television!

Yeah, so HBO cancelled Enlightened, a show that I was quite fond of for many reasons. Mike White, one of my favorite, multifaceted writer-directors, somehow got paired up with the specialized talents of Laura Dern to create the show about a middle-aged woman trying to reassemble herself among her co-workers after making a spectacle of herself during a nervous breakdown in her corporate office.

Only Laura Dern could have played this character, a woman so much the opposite of self-aware, who you feel both disdain and pity for, while tension builds and builds as you move through each episode – something that is clearly the work of White and Dern as a team. If you have ever seen Chuck and Buck, you’d know what I mean, or Dern’s character way back in Blue Velvet. I loved that tension, which is hard to portray in both acting and/or writing.

I was so looking forward to this series, and it did not let me down. It did exactly what I expected in very unexpected ways. “Amy,” Dern’s character is just not likable, but by the end of the first season, the viewer, no matter who you are, will see themselves in her character – all the ugly, self-centered parts, and the parts that mean well.

We all mean well, and we find something beautiful and childlike in what she tried to discover about herself among the sea turtles on the hippy-dippy retreat she was on after her breakdown, which she reflects on occasionally in the episodes in the first season. And in the second season she comes back to try to take the corporation that she works for down, for all the corruption and environmental havoc only she knows they are guilty of.

Anyway, I loved this show, and like many other AMAZING shows, like Deadwood, for instance, HBO has cancelled before they even had time to percolate. Fuckers! On the other end, I am grateful for the risks they have taken and support they have given to shows like Girls, Six Feet Under, Sopranos, Big Love, OZ, etc.

I guess I will just have to cry my way to April 7th when Mad Men starts on AMC.

Maybe I’m Feeling Better?

It’s a no-go on Yaddo. I got the rejection letter yesterday. Oh, boohoo. Whatever. I expect another letter from Montalvo mid-April. And I haven’t applied for anything else besides the California Community Foundation grant, and that one is practically impossible to get. I mean, I said that about the Pollock-Krasner and I somehow won that, but that was because they had a couple of drunken panel members who were also blind and possibly on fire. I don’t know how I won that thing! They probably got sick of seeing my name – “Give it to her already! Or she’ll never leave us alone!”

Went to therapy today. Yeah, therapy. They still haven’t fixed me. And I have to say I really love my therapist. It is really hard to find someone to trust and feel comfortable with. I think about people I know and the stories I have heard, and even a few stories of my own! It’s not easy to find a sane therapist. Many get into the field because they are not stable themselves, so it’s no wonder that there are plenty out there that are creepy or hippie-dippy, or just bad.

Before I went to mine, I researched thoroughly. Those of you that know me know that that probably means I went to each of their houses and took blood tests and asked for their birth certificates. I knew what kind of therapist I wanted and I didn’t want to fuck around with someone who didn’t know what they were doing because I had my face in psychology books for the last 10 years, and they were about specific issues you might want to call rare.

I found a winner. She is highly intelligent and understands everything I have been bringing to the table. So now, especially since I’m going through major medication changes, I want to see her once a week, at least for a little while, and that nice lady made it doable for me. 🙂

Then I came home a stood in my studio, too tired to really paint, but I have been thinking a LOT lately about setting up my drums. I began taking measurements and figuring out what to do about this electrical outlet and that plastic bin, and my drawing table, and where to put my carts, and long story short, I think I have it all figured out. It’s going to take a couple of days and I have to visit Home Depot, but I just might have a little drummer area up and running by next week. I have to squeeze it in – between paintings and doctor visits, and all my other dicking around I do.

I was going to talk about how fucking disappointed I am about how HBO cancelled Enlightened, but I need to get back to the easel, so I’ll bitch about it later.