Archive for the ‘Shrapnel’ category


No Plan B

Don’t you hate it when plans go to shit, or they drastically change and you just can’t get with the program? It’s like I have everything and nothing going on at the same time – a lot like what death is supposed to be. Maybe. Have I become too grim now?


A New Day

Happy Independence Day. Or, for some of you who’ve forgot what today is all about, Happy Firecracker Day! Now please stay out of my neighborhood so I can get some sleep. And while I’m thinking about important documents, that brings me to the main reason I haven’t been around lately. I was rewriting my memoir (yes, again) and have been focused on that for the last six weeks. It’s been a good way to distract myself from all the dumpy doldrums I’ve been in for almost a year.


Roller Coaster, Wow wow

It’s been something like another ten days of continuous rapid cycling. Somehow, this roller coaster manages to fall into the downward direction more often than not, and yet somehow, I am still hopeful? What’s up with that? I don’t know how that works exactly, but it’s how I’ve been cranking along these past couple of days — knock on wood, lightly anyway. And might as well knock to the beat of Love Rollercoaster, the original one by Ohio Players. That is, the track off the album, not the tamed down single. The difference in the lyrics are like night and day.


What the Hell is Going On?

Art-wise, nothing. Seriously. Sorry. Okay, I have done a couple of short sittings on this, which has literally been taking me a year? Jeez!


The Conference Room

in the studio - Carol Es

I know, this might be getting a little confusing, but I am going to continue some of my thoughts from my blog post that I last wrote on the Shrapnel blog. Isn’t that lovely? I guess having all these different avenues of expressing myself goes along with the whole theme of having all my different “parts” – something I am starting to come to terms with by the way. And I’m starting to see that there are many of my parts that haven’t been given a voice for a very long time either. Does that make sense? Well, it does to me, and does to some people out there in crazy town. It’s easy for me to blame myself for failing to ignore some of my parts. I mean, who else can I blame, right? Still, that’s my knee-jerk reaction. To blame myself for every god damned thing. But now I’m trying to break the cycle of that whole lame-blame-shame-spiral. I’m trying to do this by calling up my other parts to come help me.


Happy Nude Year

So I wrote something quite like this late last night on the Exodus Project blog. Please excuse me if I repeat some of this information, but I have had some sleep since then. I’ve probably thought up new stuff. Maybe I won’t repeat it all. I know I’ll repeat some of the “newsy” bits, like how I’ve been working on laying out my new artist book called, the Spark – which will be going inside of the Up to Now flash drive cases.