I just finished up writing my Spring Newsletter. I’ll be sending it out
tomorrow morning this morning, and I’m a little nervous about it because, well…
I kinda came out about being genderqueer/nonbinary.
That might seem like no biggie since all I do is talk about it here on my blog, but I don’t have the readership here than I do subscribers on the newsletter.
I probably shouldn’t care if I lose some subscribers. Many may bolt. Maybe they aren’t with that kind of thing, or perhaps they just don’t want to hear about it. I didn’t talk about it too much, but I invited people to come here and read more about it all if they were interested.
One thing that’s been tricky to navigate is when people ask me what nonbinary means. I have a tough time answering that, like I’m speaking for all genderqueer people of the earth. But if I answer them about what it means for me specifically, it feels too personal.
It’s also frustrating that they are confused. People think in binary terms and sometimes can’t conceive of anything other than man-woman. It’s a black and white world, I guess.
Anyway, I have some things yet to do before we leave for San Francisco. I’m feeling very accomplished with everything I’ve checked off my list so far. It seems I’ve planned out this whole thing out to the letter. I’m impressed with my damn self.
I’m part of many transgender discussion groups, and bunches of people talk about this phenomenon, gender euphoria–the opposite of gender dysphoria. They seem to experience it a lot after their surgeries, wearing different types of clothing, after getting a new haircut, or anything that makes them feel more comfortable in their skin. I have not yet experienced this feeling. I imagine myself, after my surgery, and get a happy, hopeful feeling in the pit of my stomach. That must be what they’re talking about–I don’t know. But I do hope I will share their same feelings myself.
I’m looking forward to that.