Out of my Mind

Someone tell please tell how I’m supposed to feel! …Ha ha. I just thought I’d start off a blog post like that. I am becoming more and more out of my mind, after all. Homer Simpson said that once and it always struck me as very funny. But anyway, The Exodus Project installation is now out of the way. And so are several other things, like the book for one — even though I keep sneaking in there to add tidbits before it gets picked out of Dropbox to be edited — but I’m pretty sure I’m finished with all that. I am moving on now. That’s hardly funny. I wanted to be funny.

Installation Day

I have been scarce. Maybe for some, I don’t even exist anymore — I have no idea. It’s been well over a month since my last post and it may seem that I’ve been slacking off, but I’m no slacker. I mean, that’s not in my nature, but I have been taking it easy(er), with plans to continue down that road, because yesterday, I was finally able to install The Exodus Project at the Lancaster Museum of Art and History.

Roller Coaster, Wow wow

It’s been something like another ten days of continuous rapid cycling. Somehow, this roller coaster manages to fall into the downward direction more often than not, and yet somehow, I am still hopeful? What’s up with that? I don’t know how that works exactly, but it’s how I’ve been cranking along these past couple of days — knock on wood, lightly anyway. And might as well knock to the beat of Love Rollercoaster, the original one by Ohio Players. That is, the track off the album, not the tamed down single. The difference in the lyrics are like night and day.

Inner Monsters

Really? A loss for words? Can it be true? Or is this just another way of saying, or hiding the fact, that I am too scared to divulge what’s really going on around here? Perhaps it’s a bit of both. It feels like I have been complaining a lot about being down in the dumps. But I don’t think I’ve truly opened the curtain on just how ugly it’s been.

What the Hell is Going On?

Art-wise, nothing. Seriously. Sorry. Okay, I have done a couple of short sittings on this, which has literally been taking me a year? Jeez!

The Conference Room

in the studio - Carol Es

I know, this might be getting a little confusing, but I am going to continue some of my thoughts from my blog post that I last wrote on the Shrapnel blog. Isn’t that lovely? I guess having all these different avenues of expressing myself goes along with the whole theme of having all my different “parts” – something I am starting to come to terms with by the way. And I’m starting to see that there are many of my parts that haven’t been given a voice for a very long time either. Does that make sense? Well, it does to me, and does to some people out there in crazy town. It’s easy for me to blame myself for failing to ignore some of my parts. I mean, who else can I blame, right? Still, that’s my knee-jerk reaction. To blame myself for every god damned thing. But now I’m trying to break the cycle of that whole lame-blame-shame-spiral. I’m trying to do this by calling up my other parts to come help me.

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