Surgery Now & Laters

My stomach is starting to feel better because my doctor took me off that new medication. It has a week-long half-life, so I’m just now getting my appetite back, thank the lord baby Jesus. But that’s no way to lose weight.

However, I did lose a few pounds over the last several weeks. Rapidly. Eating nothing but crackers and then throwing them up will do that. Now I’ll probably gain a couple of pounds back before I continue on my regularly scheduled program. That’s okay, I guess. But I know me. I’ll be a little pissed seeing the numbers go up on the scale again. I’ve been known to shed a tear or two when I gain just one pound.

So I saw that other surgeon for a consultation, and though I’m sure I won’t be using him as my doctor, he was a cool person, knowledgeable, and had a lot of great advice.

I say “great” advice because it was, but it certainly wasn’t anything I wanted to hear. He recommended that, yes, I should wait until I am at my goal weight, which is what Dr. Sinclair (my most-likely surgeon) recommended too. “Ideally,” he said. But this other guy said most definitely, and not only that. I should keep it stable for at least six months before undergoing surgery.

Well, that puts a big kybosh of everything. I wanted to do this in mid-February. I won’t even for sure be at my goal weight by then. That would be more like the end of March if I’m a disciplined calorie counter, which I have been (pretty much!).

That was my fourth consultation, and he’s the only doctor that mentioned maintaining a stable weight for six months. He also has very minimal experience in top surgery–one of the few reasons I would not use him.

One of the other doctors I consulted with (from San Francisco) only does top surgeries. That’s all he does. Much of the time, he works on patients who weigh much more than I do now. He said that most people (more than half), no matter what they weigh, come back in a year for a revision. They might not be 100% happy with how they look, they gain or lose some weight, and everyone heals differently. It’s just something that happens, and insurance covers it in most cases.

San Fran doctor also said, based on my age (skin that doesn’t stretch back like younger people’s do), I would most likely be getting a revision in a year, something I need to consider. Because if I’m probably going back in after a year, what’s the difference how long I maintain my weight beforehand? This is not like a tummy tuck or something, and I am not under 40. I look how I look and the chances of my skin looking tight and young is in the past.

So I have to make a decision soonly, and I am having a little difficulty. My therapist suggested that I weigh the pros and cons and consider the freedom of how I would feel overall against how I will look. To decide based on how important those things are to me regarding my gender dysphoria or otherwise.

One thing I did not want to do was have this operation in the summertime. I have to wear a brace for six weeks. I already get unbelievable hot flashes as it is. I’m just always hot. Having to sleep on my back for the first three weeks and wearing the binder for six in the summer…oh my god. Just thinking of that makes me hot, so I picked the coldest month of the year to do this. Plus, I would be nine pounds away from my goal weight. I feel like I’d be ahead of the curve than a lot of others that get this surgery.

Maybe I could put it off until the end of March, but waiting some months after that puts me into summer. I’m still thinking, and I’d like to talk to Dr. Sinclair again. He’s 99.9% my surgeon on this. I don’t have any other consultations scheduled anymore. Not unless I win one of those grants (unlikely). If I did, I would get a consultation with one other guy in Beverly Hills (Dr. Dadvand), and if he didn’t work out, I’d give the grant money back and still go with Dr. Sinclair.

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