Today I’ll be reporting information, making announcements, and sharing my goings on. Though, you really don’t want to know what goes on behind these drapes, ladies and gentlemen. Lots of hair-pulling, furious tap dancing, and infant-like weeping. A neurotic party of lessons never learned. No resting in sight. But was there ever? I must enjoy it all, deep down in my butt. Or something. However, it takes careful battle planning and tactical training only those of us with secret, and high-security knowledge can know. This message will self-destruct in five seconds. . . five. . . four. . . three. . .