I’ve been working on “terrible” paintings lately. I am doing this because I feel I’ve had such fear of making a bad painting, that I over-think my approach. This idea has really been helping me to get back into the swing of things again.I have quite a few pieces in progress and only a couple so far really are terrible.
I got this notion after speaking with a good friend of mine, Robin Cracknell. Robin is an amazing fine art photographer in London. His works are compelling with deep-rooted issues around giving a voice to children that have perhaps not been taken seriously, believed, or otherwise ignored. It speaks volumes, to me especially. His work just continues to resonate with me. And having this inspiring conversation with him has brought new light to my process in making my own work. I don’t know how to thank him, but I hope this new energy lasts a good long while. I’ve needed it.
So here are a few works that are still in progress:
This one is called The Deal and the painting on it is done. Now it needs to be embroidered all over. A time consuming task.
This next one, Ofrenda, I’ve been working on since I moved into my studio and I would say that the painting bits are very close to done. Then I’ll have to wait for it to dry and start on the embroidery.
Now this one is a complete piece of crap that I still don’t know what to do with:
It seems pretty unfinished, but you get the basic gist of what it is mostly looking like.
The following is finished, but it’s, well, I have no idea about it. But it’s called, Have a Beer.
What the hell do you make of it? Actually, nevermind. No comments from the audience, please. I need to make my own decisions, and that’s something that is not so easy for me to do, but I’m learning and getting a bit better at it. I am good at making instinctual decisions, just not conscious ones!
I’m also working on this big square the has a giant red circle on it. I know what I want to do with it, it’s just a little weird. Trying to be weird and allowing yourself to be weird are two very different things, mind you. Giving yourself permission to be free is one thing. Attempting, and trying, to be odd and original does not work. It’s all about listening to your true voice. This is genuine. Letting all the crap from the art world, commercialism, galleries, critics, and other people enter your mind is just suicide. This kind of focus is not easy. “How does this work with my other paintings” is another fucked up thought that tries to sabotage me in my studio. You have to stop thinking in terms of shows, series, bodies of work to really start making art that is true to yourself, and all these tasks are not as easy as one would think because we all want to be loved and we all want success. I guess it’s just a matter of redefining what success is — all the while living in a society that clearly dictates which achievements are successful. Fucken society! Who needs em?
Happy Halloween everybody!
I was going to ramble on about something else, but now I forget, so bye.