I once read somewhere that Joseph Merrick, known as The Elephant Man, was never able to sleep on his back. He spent his whole life sleeping in a sitting-up position. This was due to severe deformities: a heavy head that could break his neck and block his air passages and oxygen to his brain.
One day, he just got sick and tired of it and decided to sleep like a normal person. It was his way of committing suicide.
I think of Mr. Merrick occasionally anyway, but especially lately because I still can’t on my side. It’s been over a month now. As frustrated as I am, I can’t imagine having to do this for a lifetime. Soon, I will be able to. I really can’t compare myself. Shame on me.
So, now I have a minor infection on the scar that goes clear across my chest. There’s a suture that went awry, and the whole surrounding area hurts like hell. I already hurt like hell. But whatever. It’s in the center, near my breast bone. But I think things are improving overall.
We measured my incision, by the way. It’s twenty-five inches!
I so want to paint, but I’m tired a lot of the time. I think I might be able to very soon. I only can’t reach out very far. I can always Hannah set things up for me and experiment carefully.
I still can’t lift more than five pounds for another couple of weeks, but since my healing process is a couple of weeks slower than everyone else’s (now confirmed by the doctor because of my lupus), I might have to wait a little longer before moving furniture.
I’ve been working on writing the curriculum for the Eye-book class. I think I’m going to try it. It’s just hard to figure out how to shoot it without having my person appear in it, but I realize people like to connect to the artist/teacher. It’s more personable that way, so I should probably get over it. I’ll work on that part in the coming weeks.