I haven’t smoked a cigarette in 18 days. You’d think I’d be proud of myself, but all I want is to smoke a cigarette. Still, I haven’t yet and I’m just getting by day by day so far. In fact, I have been pretty holed up in my house so I won’t go out and buy a pack. I’ve been doing that on purpose, but the other day I was able to go out and see the Eva Hesse movie with a few of my friends in Santa Monica.
This post has no pictures, as far as I can tell. I’m just opening up the interface and typing – willy-nilly. All I’ve been doing and living for is distraction lately. I am trying to quit smoking again. I hate even announcing that in fear that it’s not going to stick, but I am on day nine. You’d think that I’d be over the worst of it, but I am not. I am suffering. I am depressed. I am having terrible withdraw symptoms. I am not crying all day, everyday like I was, but I am grieving still.
I just got back from Joshua Tree with mjp and Gemma. We were only there for a few days this time and we did a whole lotta nuthin. No art. No writing. We mostly just starred off into space and watched the jackrabbits pass by.
Wow, I haven’t blogged in a long time! Sorry for the radio silence, but I’ve had my head in my book – writing like a fiend I tell ya. But I was able to finally finish this painting that I have been working on since the beginning of the year it seems. It’s finally done and it’s called “The Good Life.” It’s 24 x 30 inches, mixed media, and the first completed painting of 2016:
Well It’s been ages since I’ve posted anything on the blog, hasn’t it? You’d think I’ve been painting my little ass off, but I haven’t been. I’ve been working on my book, and that’s really about it. And in the meantime, I was really sick for a while, which I’ve mentioned before. That flu just kicked my ass.
Turning eight in Allentown was most depressing. I had no friends, no mommy, and my new extended family that didn’t make much of a big deal about my birthday either. But the day after my big day, lo and behold, I got a card from my mother. I was ecstatic! Inside she wrote how she loved me very much and “very” was underlined. She also said that she would come for me soon and that made me hopeful. It gave me something to look forward to. In fact, it was the only thing I looked forward to.