It’s been something like another ten days of continuous rapid cycling. Somehow, this roller coaster manages to fall into the downward direction more often than not, and yet somehow, I am still hopeful? What’s up with that? I don’t know how that works exactly, but it’s how I’ve been cranking along these past couple of days — knock on wood, lightly anyway. And might as well knock to the beat of Love Rollercoaster, the original one by Ohio Players. That is, the track off the album, not the tamed down single. The difference in the lyrics are like night and day.
Really? A loss for words? Can it be true? Or is this just another way of saying, or hiding the fact, that I am too scared to divulge what’s really going on around here? Perhaps it’s a bit of both. It feels like I have been complaining a lot about being down in the dumps. But I don’t think I’ve truly opened the curtain on just how ugly it’s been.
Art-wise, nothing. Seriously. Sorry. Okay, I have done a couple of short sittings on this, which has literally been taking me a year? Jeez!
I know, this might be getting a little confusing, but I am going to continue some of my thoughts from my blog post that I last wrote on the Shrapnel blog. Isn’t that lovely? I guess having all these different avenues of expressing myself goes along with the whole theme of having all my different “parts” – something I am starting to come to terms with by the way. And I’m starting to see that there are many of my parts that haven’t been given a voice for a very long time either. Does that make sense? Well, it does to me, and does to some people out there in crazy town. It’s easy for me to blame myself for failing to ignore some of my parts. I mean, who else can I blame, right? Still, that’s my knee-jerk reaction. To blame myself for every god damned thing. But now I’m trying to break the cycle of that whole lame-blame-shame-spiral. I’m trying to do this by calling up my other parts to come help me.
So, wow. Look what’s here. My dream table. It’s a Mayline drafting table, and it’s amazing!