I don’t have all that much time at my desk these days because I’ve been constantly sick to my stomach. 

I may have mentioned that I’ve been on a new medication that’s been making me nauseous, or maybe I haven’t. I keep thinking I’m going to get used to it, but the dose goes up every four weeks, so I won’t know until the next few weeks now that I’m on the highest amount.

If I don’t used to it, all this vomiting would have been for not. My body temperature is also all over the place like I have a fever. I am suddenly hot, then cold. It sucks.

I was able to finish this oil painting though. It’s a 16 x 20-inch on canvas. It’s called Marci’s Trailer with Ice Creams. I just don’t know when I’ll have the momentum to start a new one.

In the meantime, I’ve been posting some of my weird drawings on Instagram because I’ve been editing a bunch of them for my sketches database–the one that I thought was going to take years to compile. That may have been an exaggeration. It’s probably the scanning that will take forever. Ha. I’ve already edited 300 for the database, but only 75 are entered with all the data, i.e.: where they come from, what they were for, etc. 

Tomorrow I will be getting my last surgical consultation, at least as far as my insurance is concerned. I’m pretty happy with the first doctor, Dr. Sinclair in Los Angeles, and this is just a second opinion. However, this guy is a bit more local, so you never know. We’ll see.

I did apply for two transgender surgery grants. If I happen to get one of those, I can pretty much choose any surgeon I want and ignore my insurance altogether. My insurance won’t pay for anything out-of-network, which is why I applied. I’m not counting on either, but it’s a back-up plan to be able to get with a highfalutin surgeon on the West Side.

Meanwhile, I have officially lost forty-one pounds from my highest weight as of Thursday. I’m pretty happy about that, but I still have a ways to go before the surgery. I’d love it if I could lose more than what’s more or less realistic before mid-February, but really, I just need to accept reality. I should face the fact that I’m not going to lose more than twenty more, if that. Thanksgiving is coming, plus the averages say differently. I’m healthily losing about five pounds a month.  

Such is life.

I ended up picking the comfortable Clarks for my new sneakers. I wore them out to the grocery store and, wouldn’t you know it, they hurt my feet! But I’m stuck with them now. Maybe they need to be worn in, or maybe I picked the wrong shoes. I still have the Rag & Bones sitting here unreturned. It seemed like those rubbed on the back of my ankles too, but I’m going to try them on again and wear them around the house for a bit. Maybe they need another chance.

Oy vhey with the sneakers already!

Jesus, I’m already hot and feeling sick again. 🙁