Carol Es: MOMS

My very first artist's book ever!

MOMS 1975: I made this for my mother after she returned home from the mental hospital in 1975. I was seven years old. This thing is in pretty bad shape because my mother did not take very good care of such things. For many years it was kept in a old suitcase, along with a pile of old letters and photographs until I finally took the suitcase home with me shortly after my parents passed away.

After Mom came back from the psychiatric ward we were told to be very careful with her - to act nice and pretty much walk on eggs shells with her. I was always making nice things for her anyway, but nothing I made her ever mattered because she was far too paranoid despite the treatment back then then and never believed she was loved. I don't think she felt loved until she was in old age and needed us to take care of her and was in her fist stages of dementia.

I created this book with scrap paper, pencil, and pink and yellow crayons. Then I bound it with Scotch tape. Not too shabby for a seven year-old. If only I had a spell check, I'd be golden. I got the idea for this format from a greeting card I couldn't afford to buy for her. I remembered it and decided to build a book with several pages with my own made-up scenarios and this is what I came up with. It was also made to appeal to my mom's dark sense of humor.