Carol Es - Shrapnel in the San Fernando Valley, 2019

Having grown up with a mentally abusive family, life was incredibly unstable for Carol (now Ayin Es). They lived through the undermining betrayal that many kids sadly endure: sexual abuse. At just fourteen, they fled from their chaotic family life only to find themselves trapped in the Church of Scientology for two decades, where they denied and neglect their mental illness in order to stay true to the doctrine of L. Ron Hubbard and his belief that the psychiatric field was an evil hoax.

Despite their circumstances, Carol stayed committed to their artistic endeavors. One of the first "female" drummers to attend the Musicians Institute in Hollywood, California, they went on to work with noted producers, recorded with Rickie Lee Jones, and toured North America in a rock band made up of Scientologists.

Illustrated with original sketches throughout, Shrapnel in the San Fernando Valley is not just another survivor's tale about overcoming life's horrors and coming out victorious. It's a courageous, relatable story about doing what you can with what you've got, no matter how broken your tools might have been in the first place. Gaining the ability to identify growth from experience is the true victory. Because sometimes learning, relearning, and coming out okay is triumph enough.

Carol Es has earned many honors during their career in the arts, including the Pollock-Krasner and Wynn Newhouse awards. Their work can be found in MOMA, the Getty Museum, and the National Museum of Women in the Arts. They have written for the Huffington Post, Whitehot Magazine, and Coagula Art Journal and been published with Bottle of Smoke Press, Islands Fold, Chance Press. Awarded grants from the National Arts and Disability Center and Asylum Arts for writing, they also won the Bruce Geller Memorial Award "WORD" grant from the American Jewish University in 2019. They now live and work in Joshua Tree.